Right here my life in a nutshell, in my last year of school I started mixing with the "wrong crowd" drinking and all that stuff, then I started getting in trouble with law, only petty stuff but my friend went to prison for something we both done although he had alot more previous convictions and stuff, I got a job that in the end fell to pieces through my bad attitude and hatred for authority, any way the booze was spiralling out of control and I begin to use cocaine aswell, so in the summer of 2012 I begin to lose the plot I was going mad at friends, fighting, slagging everyone off, I was a complete mess. Anyway In september of 2012 I went on a fobt machine in the betting shop, by the end of the year I was losing my entire wage (from a new job) on these hellish machines. 2012 came to an end (thank god) and I started improving alot I was back training, staying of the booze and had self excluded myself from the betting shops, in march I got a another job (I had been sacked by the second job) and I am still there, things have been ok whilst in this job for the most part, but my behaviour is very erratic still, a few months ago I relapsed with the gambling, I went on lunch break, lost £200 then went home, employers were fuming and I am on a final writen warning. So now to latest meltdown I got paid last week and within a few days I had lost the lot gambling, what's wrong with, anyway that sent me nutty, now I am off work for 2 weeks with stress/depression. anyone got any answers to why I self destruct so much, I just seem be impulsive and angry all the time.